A Good Impression
by SweetDeamon
Summary: "That was the only burning question that Tonks had for Remus at that moment in time: Did you see my knickers?" Tonks tries to impress on her first mission for the Order...needless to say, it doesn't go to plan...!
1. Chapter 1

_Note: Well, I'm feeling slightly bored of my AU fics, so here's some good ol' canon compliant goodness for you! I've not written anything like this since Lies and Letters (sort of!), so it will make a nice change! I hope you enjoy it! _

_If it makes you laugh, do let me know! I've never really tried to be funny/vaguely amusing before! =)_

_This fic is dedicated to **Messer Moony**, because your latest review for Without a Trace made me feel guilty. I hope this makes up for my continuous threatening to murder your favourite werewolf!_

_Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, not am I making any profit form this piece of writing. _

**A Good Impression**

It seemed to Nymphadora Tonks that her life revolved around making good impressions, and she wondered that if she had realized this earlier, she might have given better thought to her wardrobe and choice of hair colour.

If she had been aware of this fact perhaps, at the age of ten, when sent round to the new neighbour's house with one of her mother's carefully sculptured lemon meringue puddings, she might have simply gasped in horror when she tripped over said neighbour's cat and splattered the pudding over the brand new carpet. Perhaps she would not have exclaimed: _Oh bloody hell, look at that mess!_

And perhaps, if she really had been aware of the importance of good impressions, she might not have turned up to that Hogsmeade date when she was sixteen with lime green hair and a bolt through her tongue that she had persuaded one of her friend's to charm into place for her.

She might have made a few less jokes in front of the Head of Aurors during her training at the Ministry, too, and she would have kept her mouth shut at her first Order meeting and not babbled away like a madwoman because she was nervous. She was sure that even Sirius Black had thought her unhinged, and she was convinced that he wasn't all there himself.

That final spectacle, which had occurred some five days ago, had been the eye opener. Merlin, Tonks recalled as she stood in the hallway of Grimmauld Place, Alastor "Mad-Eye" Moody stood beside her droning in her ear about the importance of constant vigilance and who knew what else, the whole entire Order of the Phoenix had been there at that meeting! Every single one of them! What in Merlin's name must they think of their newest member after that?

Footsteps sounded on the stairs and Tonks remembered with a little relief that she was in fact exaggerating ever so slightly. Yes, there had been a lot of people crammed into the kitchen that evening, but in actual fact one Order member had been missing. One Order member had not witnessed her sham of a first impression because they had in fact been too ill to leave their bed.

Which, Tonks realized as the Order member in question came to a halt at the bottom of the staircase, gave the young Auror just a shred of hope for redemption.

Yes, the witch concluded resolutely, for once in her life Nymphadora Tonks was going to make a good first impression...

Why in Merlin's name was she wearing a mini skirt and platform boots to go walking in?

_Crap..._

"There you are," Moody was saying as the stranger looked Tonks up and down, expression unreadable. "Lupin, this is Nymphadora Tonks."

"Hello," Lupin greeted, taking a few steps forward, away from the shadowy staircase and further into the light. As she took a turn at looking him up and down, Tonks noted his rather worn yet neat attire and found herself compelled to hold out her hand.

"Hi," she said brightly, and surprise flickered momentarily upon his face before he reached to shake her hand. "Nice to meet you."

That, Tonks silently told herself as Lupin offered her a smile of his own, was a rather good start. But she wasn't about to count her dragons before they had hatched. After all, this whole exchange had occurred whilst she had been stationary. Any moment now they were going to throw walking into the equation, and those bloody platforms combined with that accursed umbrella stand...

It was at that moment that Tonks realized that, whilst musing upon such a despairing notion, she had yet to stop shaking Lupin's hand.

_For the love of Merlin let go of his hand!_

Tonks hastily pulled her hand free, mortified as she felt her cheeks burning red. To her relief, Lupin seemed to be pretending not to notice.

"Well," he said, hand retreating to the safety of his pocket. "I've made us late enough as it is. Shall we?" he gestured for her to lead the way and Tonks made for the door, keeping one eye firmly upon the umbrella stand. She paused when Lupin's footsteps halted behind her, and when she looked back over her shoulder she found that Moody had stopped the other wizard with a gnarled hand upon his shoulder. Both normal and magical eyes scrutinized Lupin's face, which did look distinctly sickly Tonks would admit, before Moody said in a low voice:

"Rough one, was it?" Apparently this was not really a question because he did not give Lupin time to reply. With a grunt, the old Auror gave him a firm nudge towards the door. "Well I'll tell you this, Voldemort's not going to wait for you, you know!"

Tonks turned back and pulled the door open, just in time to hear:

"And watch that one, will you, Lupin? Fine Auror, yes, but she's more clumsy than a dragon in a cauldron shop."

Embarrassed, Tonks concentrated on not tripping down the steps that lead to the street. She resisted the urge to yell at her mentor to shut up, reminding herself that starting an argument with somebody as unreasonable and uncompromising as Alastor Moody would do her no favours, especially since she was trying to make a good impression. Indeed, Lupin seemed to be thinking something similar, for he simply said:

"We'll see you later then, Alastor." He followed Tonks out of the door, pulling it shut behind him.

They apparated to the village of Grainsford where, Tonks had been informed at the meeting earlier that week, it was rumoured Death Eaters had taken to gathering in the local pub. A muggle establishment, Tonks had thought this rather unlike Voldemort's pure blood fanatics, but then again she supposed that very assumption proved the pub to be good cover. According to Mundungus Fletcher, who had already taken a good peek inside, there was a basement room that would be perfect for a meeting of Death Eaters. The entire village was populated by muggles, save one elderly wizard who went by the name of Benedict Pritchard. Long since retired from his position as Head of the Beasts Division in the Department of Magical Creatures, Pritchard's opinion was still very much valued by the Ministry. Both Kingsley Shacklebolt and Arthur Weasley had caught wind of his latest trip to his old workplace. They claimed he had been attempting to persuade his former colleagues that the regulations surrounding werewolves needed to be revised yet again. This was because, Sirius had announced, he wanted to piss off the werewolves, or rather Voldemort did and his Death Eaters had threatened Pritchard into it.

So Tonks and Lupin had been instructed to take a good look around the village, to see if there was anything else they could find out.

"So..." Lupin began as they began to walk side by side down the main road, Tonks silently cursing her choice of footwear yet again. "How long have you been an Auror?"

Tonks found herself smiling, relieved that he had noted her profession rather than her clumsy tendencies.

"Not long," she told him brightly. "It's been just over a year since I qualified."

"Do you enjoy it?" he asked, shoving his hands in his pockets and glancing sideways at her.

"It's the best job in the world," Tonks enthused, only to recall: "but the paperwork sucks." For a paranoid moment she wondered if that made her sound lazy, so she hurriedly asked: "What do you do?"

Lupin's gaze fell to his shoes and he pursed his lips together rather thoughtfully.

"What do I do? Well..." he glanced sideways at her again and offered her a lopsided smile. "I babysit Sirius." he decided, causing her to grin. "It's a full time job, as you can probably imagine. The pay's appalling and the holidays are non-existent."

Tonks' laughter filled the air as they slowed their pace, nearing the village green.

"Seriously though," she said a long moment later, determined to be interested to hear more about him. "What do you do when you aren't babysitting Sirius?"

Lupin stared across the green in the direction of the village church.

"Whatever Dumbledore asks me to."

"Right..." Tonks frowned at this rather vague response. That hadn't been what she had meant, and she suspected he knew it, too.

"What about outside of the Order?" she asked, because she could not help but feel curious.

Lupin chuckled quietly under his breath.

"Alastor and Kingsley haven't told you much about me, have they?" he said knowingly, and Tonks shrugged.

"Well...not really." she admitted as they slowed to a halt beside a weather-beaten wooden bench. "Mad-Eye said you're decent in a duel, and Kingsley said I should be glad to be paired with you my first outing because I'll be in safe hands."

"Safe hands?" Lupin raised an eyebrow as he turned to survey their surroundings. "What does a fully qualified Auror need a pair of those for?"

Tonks felt something in her chest swell at his confidence in her, and she too took a good look around, determined to live up to his expectations.

"They didn't tell me your first name." she recalled as her eyes came to rest upon a thatched building some way up the street, a sign outside identifying it as The Green Dragon Inn.

"It's Remus." he supplied as he too spotted the pub.

Tonks considered this to be a good time to establish his understanding of her Golden Rule: Don't call me Nymphadora, under pain of excruciating death, but decided that for once she would keep her mouth shut. She didn't trust herself not to wind up sounding rude. Not all strangers took to being threatened so severely with grace, and even fewer thought well of her afterwards, either.

"Well then, Remus," she said instead, eyes still fixed upon the pub. "I reckon we should maybe ask in the pub? You know, if anybody's seen anything strange? Then maybe wander down to Pritchard's place and check up on it...?"

Rain clouds overhead threatening to drench them at any moment, the two Order members decided to split up to save time; Tonks would head for the pub, (To her silent mortification Remus had given her attire a brief glance before suggesting that she would "fit in" better than he would.), whilst Remus would check on Benedict Pritchard's house. They would meet up again outside of The Green Dragon and, all being well, apparate back to Headquarters.

Besides the ridiculous length of her skirt, Tonks mused as she set off down the road, this was all going rather well. She hadn't said anything stupid, she had held polite conversation without babbling incoherently, and she had yet to make a spectacle of herself by tripping over her own feet.

As she reached the door of the pub, pausing to look the building up and down, the newest member of the Order of the Phoenix was feeling pleased with herself. Very pleased indeed.

Remus could go back to the rest of the Order and tell them that she was a sane, responsible individual who could in actual fact speak plain English and put one foot in front of the other without succumbing to the evil force of gravity.

As she reached to push open the door, Tonks couldn't help but grin broadly.

The grin was instantly wiped off her heart-shaped face, however, when the door was yanked open from inside, taking her with it. The young Auror found herself lurching forwards, her balance lost, and before she could quite fathom how it had happened, Tonks found herself sprawled across the threshold, roaring laughter ringing in her ears.

"Up you get, love!" a booming voice broke through the laughters as Tonks felt her cheeks burning with humiliation. As a huge hand reached to grasp her around the arm, hauling her back up onto her feet, Tonks hurriedly turned to look back out into the street.

_Remus didn't see that_, she assured herself as she reached to smooth her skirt, glad to discover that she had not managed to expose her knickers to the world at large. _He didn't see anything. In fact let's pretend it didn't even happen at all..._

Despite her resolve to carry on regardless, Tonks suddenly found herself reluctant to strike up a conversation with anybody. She found a secluded seat in a corner of the bar and sat down, observing a trio of grossly obese men play at darts in the opposite corner, their inflated stomachs wobbling grotesquely as they laughed at one another's efforts.

She was just telling herself to hurry up and do something useful, when a voice from beside her made her jump, and Tonks found herself completely distracted from her given task.

"Nice trip was it, love?"

Tonks looked round and grimaced at the sight of a tall, lanky looking man who had just dropped into a seat beside her. He had pale, greasy hair, sallow skin and even from a distance she could smell the drink upon his breath as he laughed loudly at his own joke. She hurriedly turned away again, the smell was overpowering, it made her stomach turn. She tried best to ignore her unwelcome visitor and decide what her first move was going to be. The barman would be a safe bet, he'll have seen who was coming and going...

The man leaned towards her, slumping against the little table in a distinctly drunk fashion.

"'Name's Ian." he slurred, and she frowned at his disruption of her thoughts.

"Hi Ian." she mumbled distractedly, shifting away from him as far as her narrow seat would allow.

"You got a name?" he asked her, and Tonks' eyes drifted closed in disgust.

_You've got to be bloody kidding me_...

She sighed heavily and turned to offer him her most unimpressed look.

"Not for you I don't." she said flatly, turning her attention back to the barman who was busy serving drinks to one of the balloon-like men who had been playing darts.

"I'll have to guess then, won't I?" the man drawled, his grinning expression a little on the alarming side.

"Yeah," Tonks agreed, leaning to rest one elbow upon the table to shield him from view. "I guess you might have to. But if I were you I'd quit while you're ahead. There's not a man alive who could guess my name, no matter how much alcohol you pour down his throat. It's that dire."

The man was silent for a long moment and for a moment she thought he might get up and stagger off to bother somebody else, but then he announced:  
"I'm gonna call you Pinky. Like your hair, y'know?"

Tonks accepted this news with a surprising amount of grace. After all, she mused as her chin came to rest upon her hand, still watching the barman, Pinky was probably quite a big improvement...

"Your hair's funny." he slurred, and she clenched her jaw to feel his shoulder come to rest against her arm as he loomed ever closer. She felt tempted to simply tell him to _piss off_, only she was wary of causing yet another scene. It was not easy to resist.

Indeed, she felt quite proud of her restraint when a moment later she felt his head lolling sideways upon her shoulder and he mumbled in her ear:

"You wanna come outside with me?"

_Damn you, Remus Lupin_! Tonks silently cursed as she got abruptly to her feet, feeling rather satisfied at the clunking noise as the man's forehead collided with the tabletop. _Why did we have to split up? Why couldn't I have gone to check on Pritchard?_

"Think I'll pass, thanks." she told the groaning figure beside her, before striding over to the bar to have a talk with the barman.

When she left the pub around fifteen minutes later, glad of the cool night's breeze as she stepped out of the door, Tonks was once again feeling pleased. So far on her mission she had managed to appear relatively sane and normal to her new colleague, avoided a potentially mortifying encounter with a drunken slime ball, and had heard a number of interesting things from the barman that she could report at the next Order meeting.

Remus, it seemed, had yet to return from Pritchard's house. Tonks waited for him in cheery silence, leaning against the wall just outside of the door, staring absent-mindedly up at the cloudy sky. She was just beginning a solo rendition of the latest Weird Sisters hit song under her breath, fingers tapping upon the wall behind her in time to the tune, when the door beside her was wrenched open and a voice boomed:

"Now sod off!"

Tonks watched with a mixture of amusement and irritation as a familiar figure was ceremoniously flung out through the doorway, landing in a grunting heap upon the cobbled street.

"And stay out!" the irate voice demanded, and with that the door swung shut with a bang.

The witch took a long moment to enjoy watching the scruffy man struggle to his hands and knees. Fighting back a snort of amusement, she finally decided to take pity upon him, though she couldn't help but wonder if this was an entirely wise move.

"C'mon Ian," she muttered, striding over and reaching down to grab hold of him by the elbow.

"'Ello Pinky." Ian mumbled as she hauled him up onto his feet, and they both began a rather frantic scramble to keep the pair of them upright, his hands coming to grasp hold of the front of her jacket with a gurgling chuckle. Once they both seemed relatively stable, she took a good step backwards, keen to escape the stale stench of drink upon his breath, only for him to stumble after her, hands still clutching at her jacket.

Which was precisely how Tonks came to find herself sandwiched awkwardly between a drunk man and a hard brick wall.

And it was in this rather unfortunate and all together bemusing situation that her fellow Order member came to discover her in a mere moment later.

As she spotted Remus come to an abrupt halt, frozen where he stood just across the street, eyes wide at the sight of her, Tonks drew in a mortified gasp, hastily giving Ian a firm shove backwards. In her panic, however, she had forgotten that the moron still had hold of her jacket...

The two of them crashed towards the ground and as she landed bodily atop the drunk, who gave a hefty groan, the air knocked from his lungs, Tonks wished that the cobbles would open up and swallow them whole. If she could reach her wand, she thought furiously as she attempted to disentangle herself, Remus' stunned gaze burning into the top of her head, she'd make damn sure this drunken bastard was swallowed up by _something_...

"Crap!" she hissed, unamused when Ian let out a shout of laughter, and she would have drawn her wand there and then and cursed him into the middle of next week had she not felt something pulling at her shoulders, and quite suddenly she found herself firmly upon her feet. She looked up and across the road just in time to see the handle of Remus' wand disappearing into the pocket of his coat, his expression back to it's usual neutral self. The smallest of smiles flickered upon his face, she was not sure whether this was out of amusement of plain pity, before he turned on his heel and began to walk slowly off up the street.

Muttering obscenities under her breath, Tonks stepped around the hysterically laughing figure, shooting it a look of deepest disgust, before freezing again...

_That didn't feel right_...

She looked down, and promptly let out a squeak of horror to find that her skirt appeared to have migrated north at some point during her latest spectacle.

"Oh sweet Merlin, no!" she moaned, hastily grasping the hem and yanking it downwards, face positively burning with complete and utter humiliation. She was seriously considering apparating home where she could hide herself away and never go out in public ever again, when Remus glanced back over his shoulder at her somewhat expectantly and, with a resigned sigh, she set off after him, smoothing her skirt self-consciously.

They walked back towards their chosen apparation point in what Tonks felt was a hideously awkward silence. She let him lead the way and stared at the back of his head as if desperately attempting to see into his mind, to find out what he was thinking. It was just her luck, she thought miserably, that legimency was not part of standard Auror training. Then again perhaps she ought be glad, no doubt if she could know what Remus was thinking she would simply be even more embarrassed than ever. She sighed heavily. The evening had started off so promisingly, it was quite shocking just how quickly it had gone downhill. Now, she thought glumly, Remus could go back to the Order and tell them that their suspicions were only the tip of an enormous iceberg: not only was she a madwoman, she was also terribly irresponsible and was too busy getting very cosy with completely revolting drunken strangers with alarmingly greasy hair to actually do any proper Order work.

Well...at least Snape might be pleased.

And at least she had been wearing a decent pair of knickers, rather than those hideous granny ones that her mother had bought for her last Christmas. That was the only burning question that Tonks had for Remus at that moment in time: _Did you see my knickers?_ Because there was a small chance that he might answer in the negative and she could feel a little less mortified. But then again there was a much bigger chance that he might say: Yes I did, and she didn't think that she could take the shame.

But the silence was killing her.

"So..." she mumbled, eyes suddenly glued to the ground. "See anything interesting at Pritchard's house?"

"Maybe," Remus replied as they turned down the little alleyway beside the village's greengrocers, carefully stepping over an abandoned cardboard box. As Tonks narrowly avoided tripping over it he reached back and grasped hold of her arm to steady her. "It looked pretty empty to me. I'm not sure he's been there for quite a long while."

For the first time since the incident outside of the pub, Tonks finally got a good look at his face and for a long moment she simply stared at him searchingly. He offered her a perfectly warm smile, as if she were somebody entirely sane and normal.

Merlin, she thought a little desperately as he let go of her arm and continued on up the alley, he didn't seem to be the most judgemental of people, in fact he had been nothing but warm and friendly. He'd even helped her out of her predicament and yet tried his best to save her as much shame as possible. He was the sort of person that Tonks could really use as a friend, she decided, a really good friend. But what if it had all been just a little too horrific? A little too awkward? What if she had managed to make the worst first impression ever? It was hard to build any sort of friendship with a man who, upon your first meeting, you manage to flash your knickers to in the most hideous and unladylike fashion. The awkwardness would ruin everything...

Tonks needed to know the truth.

"Remus?" she said, taking a few steps after him and planting her feet resolutely on the floor, jaw clenched a little in her attempt to sound casual.

Remus turned back to her and offered her a questioning look.

Tonks took a deep breath, looked him squarely in the eye and demanded:

"Did you see my knickers?"

The wizard fixed that infuriatingly neutral expression upon his face, lips pursed together thoughtfully as if the, in Tonks' mind, simple question needed quite some consideration. Tonks held her breath, heart hammering in her chest in anticipation of his reply that she was sure would make or break a friendship.

"No," he decided at last, smiling again. "I didn't." And with that, he disapparated with a loud crack.

Tonks let out a huge sigh of relief and, after allowing herself a moment to feel the relief wash over her, she too disapparated.

Remus had already disappeared into Headquarters when Tonks apparated onto the front step, and when she let herself inside she found he had already crept away up the stairs or down to the kitchen, for the hallway was deserted.

"Tonks!" Sirius' voice sounded from the top of the staircase and she watched him clutter down the stairs, grinning broadly. "How'd it go?"

The Auror smothered her grimace at such a question with a smile, and was relieved when the Azkaban escapee reached the bottom of the stairs and told her:

"Never mind, you can tell me in the morning, you must be knackered! It's gone midnight, you know. Molly's made one of the beds up for you, save you going home since there's a meeting in the morning."

"That was kind of her." Tonks replied, struggling to feign enthusiasm. All she wanted right now was to disappear off to her own house, climb into her own bed and hide herself under the duvet.

"Yeah, it's the first door to your left on the second floor landing." Sirius informed her with a grin, turning to head back up the stairs. "I'll see you in the morning, then. Me and Moony are gonna have a glass or two before bed, so if you need anything just give us a yell, okay?"

"Sure," Tonks mumbled, wondering who on earth Moony was as Sirius bounded back up the stairs, much too awake for such a late time of night as far as she was concerned. "Cheers, Sirius."

She ascended the staircases slowly, dragging her feet as she went and she suddenly realized just how tired she was. Thank Merlin she had the day off tomorrow...

She passed Remus on the stairs up to the second floor, he was carrying a bottle of fire whisky in one hand and a quill pen in the other. Despite feeling humiliation burning her cheeks yet again, she offered him a bright smile and said:

"Night Remus."

"Goodnight Nymphadora." came the reassuringly friendly response and she paused, watching him reach the bottom of the staircase and cross the landing below to the drawing room door. As he disappeared inside, she heard Sirius' voice call:

"Sit down, Moony, I want to hear all about it!"

Well that's that question answered, Tonks thought, a sense of dread settling over her as she imagined the awful conversation that the two wizards were no doubt about to have about her. With a sigh she continued on up the stairs, coming to a halt outside of her designated bedroom.

A small piece of parchment with a short note upon it had been tacked to the door. Tonks squinted at the neat lettering and read:

_Neither did I notice that they were a very pretty shade of blue._

Tonks' eyes widened in silent shock as she stared at the letters.

"Oh bugger..." she whispered.


	2. Chapter 2

_Note: At long last I got struck by the desire to write something FUNNY! It's not as funny as the previous chapter, but I hope somebody has a bit of a giggle at it! _

_Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter._

**A Good Impression 2**

It seemed to Nymphadora Tonks that her life revolved around making poor impressions because she was seemingly incapable of good ones, and she wondered that if she had realized this earlier she might have given better thought to her choice of party dress and hairstyle, which were both uncharacteristically and indeed optimistically elegant.

If she had been aware of this fact perhaps, the week previously when she had first received the elaborately written invitation to her parents' wedding anniversary party, with enclosed note from her mother suggesting non too delicately that she _make an effort for Merlin's sake and bring someone nice who won't burp during the speeches or pass out on the sofa_, she might not have bothered taking an unreasonably long time making a mental list of her past achievements with which to dazzle distant friends and relatives with. Because really, what was the point?

And perhaps, if she really had been aware of the pointlessness of attempting to make good impressions, she might not have gotten so terribly defensive and determined to prove to her parents that she was in actual fact capable of behaving like the unnaturally perfect and shining example of the human race that her mother seemingly longed for her to be. Because really she shouldn't have cared what people thought if she was entirely happy within herself.

She might not have spent the past two weeks feeling unnaturally awkward around a certain man to whom she had inadvertently flashed her underwear, either, because something of the sort had probably been destined to happen and if she was to make it through life with a smile or two she was just going to have to take such mortifying incidents in her stride.

The most important thing that she may have realized, had she been aware of the futile nature of good impressions, was that it was probably wholly unnecessary and pointless for her to be putting herself through the mental torture and awkwardness that was about to occur...

Indeed, as she stood at the bottom of the dim, narrow staircase, staring at the closed door before her, Tonks was beginning to wonder how on earth she had come to be standing there in the first place.

Of course, it had started with the letter from her mother. The morning it had arrived, she had spent a good half an hour perched upon the edge of Kingsley Shacklebolt's desk in the Auror Department, ranting and raving to her long-suffering colleague about the letter's numerous inaccuracies.

"What does she mean make an effort?" she'd exclaimed at least three times as Kingsley reaching to rub a weary hand across his eyes, quill pen tapping somewhat irritably against the papers in front of him. "Of course I'd make a bloody effort! It's like...like she thinks I'm going to turn up in...in jeans and some t shirt I found at the bottom of the laundry basket that hasn't been washed in a month!"

"Well...there was that time the other year...when it was your father's birthday..."

"THAT WAS DIFFERENT! I'd been running around doing Mad-Eye's insane training exercise ALL DAY! I only popped in to give Dad his present! Anyway, Mum's being utterly ridiculous! Bring someone nice? Thanks, Mum! I really needed that reminder because I was thinking of bringing somebody awful..."

"Well I can't go with you, I'm working."

At this announcement, Tonks had felt utterly panicked at the utter ruin of her Master Plan.

Oh Merlin, she'd thought, glad that Kingsley was busy examining his papers to spot the pathetically horrified look upon her face. If Kingsley can't come...! I'm screwed!

But of course she had absolutely no intention of admitting her horror. Instead, she had plastered an affronted look upon her face and exclaimed:

"Whoever said I was going to ask you?"

Kingsley had given an infuriatingly confident shrug, leading her to snap:

"You're not the only decent bloke that I could ask, you know! In fact I know plenty others...you weren't even going to be my first choice!"

"No? What number was I, then? You're not going to ask Dawlish, are you? Christina over in MLE reckons he's been wearing the same set of robes for over a week, there's a grass stain on his elbow that hasn't disappeared..."

"Oh shut up! Obviously you weren't any number at all because you're such a SMUG GIT! I'd not invite you for all the gold in Gringott's! I've got somebody far less irritating in mind!"

"Poor man." Kingsley had murmured, one eyebrow twitching upwards as he calmly reached for his coffee mug, and Tonks had been forced to grit her teeth against retorting before promptly making a stomping retreat to her own desk.

It had taken Tonks just a few short minutes to admit to herself that in reality she had absolutely no idea who she could possibly ask to attend the party with her. It had then taken her several days of relentless thought to conclude that, out of all the people that she was acquainted with, there was in actual fact only one man who repeatedly sprung to mind as a sensible choice.

It was definitely sensible.

On paper.

As she stared in dismay at the door handle before her, Tonks had to admit that in reality, off paper, sensible definitely wasn't the right word...

But then again she didn't have a choice. She couldn't possibly turn up on her own, that would be...that would be...well...pathetic.

It was going to be alright, she assured herself as she drew in a deep, calming breath. All she had to do was march straight into the kitchen, lean in a suitably casual manner against one of the counter tops and, once he had offered her a greeting, hated name and all, say: _Wotcher, Remus, my parents are throwing a party for their anniversary, d'you fancy coming with me? There's going to be cake!_

Simple.

She reached to push the door open. Upon shuffling in a disappointingly awkward and nervous fashion across the threshold, Tonks discovered that things were not going to be simple in the slightest.

"I was wondering if you were going to show up today!" Sirius announced cheerily from his position sat leaning back upon a kitchen chair, hie feet propped up upon the table before him as he positively grinned at the newcomer.

Tonks offered him a slightly startled smile in return. She hadn't been expecting to see him, though she supposed there really wasn't any chance of evading him at all in this house, it being his home after all. Desperation was an impressive thing, for she had been so desperate to find Remus alone in the kitchen that she had entirely forgotten about her cousin.

"Well...I thought I'd pop in for a bit." she said, daring a glance down to the other end of the table to spot Remus engrossed in composing a letter of some sort, a small frown of concentration creasing his brow as he wrote. "Wotcher, Remus." she mumbled, because it was easier to talk to the top of his head, as he bent low and squinted at the parchment in the kitchen's dim light, than waiting for him to look up at her, brown eyes so reassuringly friendly and unassuming that she would instantly struggle to find her voice. It was the quiet ones you had to watch out for, the ones who were difficult to read.

Because they were the ones who left highly embarrassing and entirely unexpected notes upon your door, the contents of which make you blush at the mere memory...

Indeed, she could feel her cheeks warming on the spot.

Remus' gaze darted up from his letter and he paused mid-sentence to offer her a small twitch of a smile before returning to staring at the parchment.

"Evening, Nymphadora." he murmured as he began to scratch words upon a new line.

He had never looked at her for more than a moment since the note had appeared upon her door some two weeks previously, and though he had yet to apologize for his cheek, Tonks wondered if he had awoken the morning after and regretted his amusement at her suspense and consequently struggled to speak to her...

But then again she often caught him staring at her when he thought she wasn't looking and as soon as she turned to stare back at him he would look away again, pursing his lips firmly together and shifting his feet. This led her to also suspect that he may not regret his little joke in the slightest, indeed he was still finding it funny a fortnight later...

_Git,_ Tonks thought furiously as she reached to pull out and chair and dropped down to sit at Sirius' side.

And this was the man she planned on asking to her parents' party! It was laughable, really...and yet...

He was perfect.

The young Auror cleared her throat determinedly and asked:

"So...what are you two up to this evening?"

Sirius puffed his cheeks, leaning back so far in his seat that Tonks was pretty sure he was about to topple backwards and crack his head upon the flagstone floor.

"I was about to ask Moony the same thing!" he announced, suddenly leaning forwards abruptly, front chair legs banging against the floor as he clapped his hands together rather loudly, as if summoning a waiter at a restaurant. "Oi!" he called across the room to his quiet companion. "Moony! What d'you reckon we should do this evening? I was thinking we should pillage the old record collection from Regulus' old room and after that...drunken chess! What d'you say?"

To Tonks' surprise, or perhaps more worryingly not entirely, Remus finally looked up and offered Sirius a raised eyebrow.

"If you like." he consented as he reached to screw the lid back upon a bottle of ink, and as he set about folding his completed letter neatly in half, Tonks heard him mumble: "Merlin help me."

"Actually..." the witch began rather hurriedly, before she could think better of it, because she would do given half a second more to think. "I was hoping...I was hoping that...maybe...well..."

"Spit it out, Tonks!" Sirius demanded, voice loud enough that she couldn't help but think he was halfway to being drunk already. "It's alright, if you want to join us you only have to say, we don't bite for Merlin's sake! Well...I don't, anyway..."

"Shut up Sirius." Remus instructed automatically as he rose to his feet, and Tonks found herself leaping to her feet too, narrowly avoiding upturning her chair.

_Sod it_...what had she done that for? It probably looked like somebody had shoved a wet-start firework up her...

"No, I don't want to join you!" she announced hurriedly, causing a deep frown to crease Sirius' brow.

_Well that wasn't bloody rude at all, was it?_

"I...I mean...that would be lovely and everything, but it's my parents' wedding anniversary! They're having a party."

"Really?" Sirius' face lit up in far more genuine manner than alcohol could ever simulate. "How many years, now?"

"Um...lots." Tonks muttered, mentally scolding herself for being such a sad excuse for a daughter that she wasn't even vaguely sure. "Anyway I um...I was just wondering if..." she paused to swallow the nerves and embarrassment that was threatening to overcome her, turning to face Remus who was busy slotting the letter carefully into an envelope.

Looking at him really didn't help.

_Deep breath, Tonks. Come on, out with it..._

_I was just wondering if Remus would come with me to the party..._

_I was just wondering if Remus would come with me to the party..._

_Say it, then! _

She sucked in another deep breath and announced:

"I-was-just-wondering-if-Remus-would-come-with-me-to-the-party!"

_Bollocks._

As Sirius failed to stifle a snigger at her crazed babbling, Remus looked up from the letter to offer her an unnervingly polite, questioning look.

He was looking at her. Right at her..._oh bloody hell, what must he be thinking?_

"Pardon?" he said after a sizable pause when she failed to repeat herself, and Tonks managed to gawp at him blankly, feeling increasingly agitated.

"Um...I...I said..."

_I was just wondering if you would come to my parents' party with me because I'm a sad dateless wonder and I'm desperate enough to resort to asking you to accompany me, even though you're a mere acquaintance who it just so happens I can barely speak to because you've seen my knickers..._

"Come with me?" she managed to squeak, flinching at how high her voice sounded.

"Sorry...?" Remus said, frowning deeply, and Tonks couldn't help but feel that it was cruel to make her repeat herself...

It was then that she was abruptly reminded that Sirius was still in the room.

"Are you asking MOONY to be your DATE FOR THE EVENING?"

_Oh bloody hell..._

Tonks hurriedly turned away from Remus' increasingly confused expression to offer Sirius a deathly glare.

"NO!" she shrieked, hands balling into panicked fists as she felt her cheeks flush the most undignified of pinks. "I mean...yes! But..."

"YOU and REMUS? As in...?" the Azkaban escapee waggled his eyebrows suggestively with the most infuriating of smirks, and Tonks waited for Remus to utter the immortal words: _Shut Up, Padfoot..._

But the Order of the Phoenix's resident werewolf remained silent.

_Git_, the Auror thought miserably as she struggled to compose herself.

"Well obviously I didn't mean it like that!" she snapped, pausing to bite her lip a little as she wondered whether or not that sounded offensive. She hurriedly turned to offer Remus what she hoped was an enthusiastic, yet what was obviously just an alarming smile. "I meant as friends!" she explained, a note of triumph in her voice that she had finally manage to spit it out. "I was wondering, Remus, if you would come to my parents' party with me as a friend."

To her fury, Sirius doubled over in laughter, reaching to slap a hand down upon the scrubbed wooden table.

"That's bloody priceless!" he cackled, eyes crinkled in hysterics.

Remus cleared his throat rather loudly, reaching to scratch the back of his neck as he contemplated his worn leather shoes thoughtfully.

"I'm...rather busy..." he mumbled apologetically, and Tonks instantly wished that the floor would open up and swallow her.

"Busy getting pissed and playing chess?" she said, failing not to sound as pathetically dismayed as she felt, and he shifted his feet a little as he finally looked up, casting one revolted glance over her shoulder at his sniggering best friend before offering her a slightly shifty smile.

"That's right." he agreed as Sirius resorted to burying his face in his arms to smother his laughter. Nodding in the black haired wizard's direction, the werewolf added in an undertone: "Somebody's got to humour him, after all."

Sirius' head immediately snapped back upwards and he snapped:

"Don't be such a patronizing bastard!"

"I'm sorry." Remus said, to Tonks rather than Sirius, and the latter's face contorted in irritation as Tonks struggled to think of some form of reasonable argument to change Remus' mind.

_Think, think, think..._

_Something...anything...like..._

…

…

_..._

"I'll wear the pretty blue knickers!"

_What?_

_Oh Merlin_, had she actually just said that aloud? Had she actually just attempted to persuade Remus Lupin to attend a party with her by promising to wear a specific pair of knickers?

_Surely not!_

Sirius leaned forward in his chair in an attempt to fix her with dark eyes as wide as a couple of snitches.

"What did you just say?" he cried, and Tonks felt a mortifying sinking feeling in her chest because clearly, that was exactly what she had just done...

Remus' expression remained it's infuriating and worryingly neutral self as his lips curved into a mildly polite smile.

"As exceedingly a tempting offer as that is, Nymphadora," he said, voice the model of politeness, as Sirius fidgeting impatiently in his seat, gaze darting frantically between the two in an attempt to work out exactly what was going on, "I'm afraid I shall have to decline..."

"Offer not to wear any knickers at all, that might do the trick!"

"Shut up, Padfoot. Besides, I'm sure there are plenty of other people who would love to go instead. You could ask...Kingsley, perhaps?"

Tonks wanted to tell him that she'd rather bludgeon herself to death with a splinter infested beater's bat, but instead forced herself to smile as best she could.

"Mm..." she managed, and Remus offered her one last smile before asking Sirius:

"Are you going to fetch the poison then?"

Sirius blinked.

"Eh?"

"The Fire Whiskey...or whatever else it is you have stashed away in that cupboard that you haven't already guzzled."

"Oh...right..."

Tonks watched somewhat numbly as her cousin got to his feet and swaggered along down the table, glancing over his shoulder curiously at them before disappearing inside the walk-in cupboard at the end of the room. The Auror inwardly flinched at the thought of how quickly he might put two and two together and make five...

_He might not do. He might not think..._

_Don't be thick, this is Sirius bloody Black for Merlin's sake..._

Quite frankly he was capable of thinking pretty much anything...

Movement to the side of her caught her attention and she turned to watch Remus reach to pull open the kitchen door. He glanced back to offer her a smile.

She'd seen that smile before, she was sure, in a certain cramped alleyway when she had asked him a certain crucial question...

She was bloody blushing again...

"Have a wonderful evening, then." he said as she reminded herself to smile back at him.

He appeared to be behaving himself, though in truth this made Tonks at least ten times more wary. Despite herself, however, she began to feel relieved as he turned back to the door, heading up the stairs.

She was about to drop all suspicions entirely and call: _You too_, when she could have sworn she heard him add as an afterthought:

"Perhaps you ought wear them to the party anyway. That way I might still catch sight of them later when you come back."

Tonks simply stared after him.

"Oh bugger..." she muttered again.

**To Be Continued...**


End file.
